Why do we do the things we do \u2014 or don\u2019t do? How can we change? If you\u2019ve ever considered what makes you act, or how to motivate yourself, you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n
Gretchen Rubin, the bestselling author and speaker was trying to figure this out while researching her book,\u00a0Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives<\/em>. Gretchen has trained her curious intellectual eye on studying happiness, habits, and human nature. It took her a while before she realized that by asking ourselves one simple question we can gain tremendous insight into why we act and don\u2019t act.<\/p>\n Ready? The question is: How do I respond to expectations?<\/strong><\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s setting a New Year\u2019s resolution, sticking to an exercise routine<\/a>, taking daily medications, or even meeting a work deadline, just about everyone falls into one of four tendencies: Upholder<\/strong>, Obliger<\/strong>, Questioner<\/strong>, or Rebel.<\/strong><\/p>\n The 4 tendencies describe how we respond to both inner expectations (like exercising regularly) and outer expectations (achieving that project deadline). Because they influence many aspects of our behavior, understanding them \u2014 in other words, understanding what pushes our buttons and motivates us to act \u2014 can help us make significant, lasting changes.<\/p>\n You can take Rubin\u2019s free online quiz<\/a> to see which Tendency best describes you.<\/p>\n In the meantime, see if one of these feels familiar:<\/p>\n This Tendency responds readily to both outer and inner expectations. If you\u2019re an Upholder you\u2019ll meet the work deadline and<\/em> keep the New Year\u2019s resolution without much fuss. You don\u2019t need a lot of support. When you make up your mind to do something you can do it pretty easily.<\/p>\n What motivates you:<\/strong> You need to know what other people expect of you, but your own expectations carry equal weight.<\/p>\n Not surprisingly, you question everything. You\u2019ll meet an expectation (for instance, keeping a food diary) only if you think it makes sense. You turn everything into an inner expectation and reject ideas, advice, and arguments that seem random or irrational.<\/p>\n For example, Questioners think that January 1 is just an arbitrary date to set some new health resolutions.<\/p>\n What motivates you:<\/strong> If an expectation meets your standards and values, you\u2019ll do it. If it doesn\u2019t, forget it! You\u2019ll keep that food diary not because a coach told you to, but because you\u2019ve done the research and it\u2019s proven to be the best first step for weight loss. If someone suggests you do something, they\u2019d better offer thoughtful, compelling reasons.<\/p>\n This type easily meets outer expectations but struggles to meet expectations they impose on themselves. So for instance, maybe you ran track in school and had no problem getting to a team practice. But try prying yourself off the couch to go for a run, and what happens? You struggle \u2014 even though you know how good exercise will make you feel.<\/p>\n What motivates you:<\/strong> You respond well to supervision, scheduling, deadlines, and reminders. So the key to self-motivation is accountability. For example, Obligers who want to become more active need to build in some type of external motivator. It could be signing on with a trainer, or putting a date on the calendar to meet a friend who\u2019ll be really annoyed if you quit.<\/p>\n Rebels resist all expectations, both outer and inner. You want to do what<\/em> you want, when<\/em> you want. For the most part, you dread the thought of creating habits. You don\u2019t even like telling yourself what to do!<\/p>\n Typically, you wouldn\u2019t sign up in advance for a Saturday morning spin class because you don\u2019t want to bind yourself. If you\u2019re asked to do something, you're tempted to say, \u201cYou\u2019re not the boss of me!\u201d<\/p>\n What motivates you:<\/strong> Rebels are a tough bunch! You hate to be reminded, scheduled, or stuck in a routine. You don\u2019t want to be pushed around or told what to do. Instead, you want to choose<\/em> to do something. Authenticity and self-expression are key.<\/p>\n If you decide to exercise, for example, you\u2019ll think about what you feel like doing in that moment, what you\u2019ll enjoy. You\u2019ll choose to run because you like feeling energized or being immersed in nature while running through the park, or having the time to listen to new music. Not because someone said it\u2019s good for you, but because you want to.<\/p>\n Understanding our Tendency can help us manage and motivate ourselves, and give us insight into why we act \u2014 and don\u2019t act. If we\u2019re trying to form a new habit \u2014 like that daily run \u2014 in a way that doesn\u2019t suit us, our nature, or our values, it\u2019s not gonna stick.<\/p>\n As Rubin says: \u201cWhen we understand ourselves, we can motivate ourselves in ways that get a lot better success.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why do we do the things we do \u2014 or don\u2019t do? How can we change? If you\u2019ve ever considered what makes you act, or how to motivate yourself, you\u2019re not alone. Gretchen Rubin, the bestselling author and speaker was trying to figure this out while researching her book,\u00a0Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":4708,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,9],"tags":[481,290,408],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-featured.jpg","acf":{"post_type":"post","post_subtitle":"Discovering what pushes your buttons and makes you act can lead to meaningful, lasting change.","post_hero_image":{"ID":4706,"id":4706,"title":"how-to-motivate-yourself-hero","filename":"how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","filesize":39716,"url":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","link":"https:\/\/my.castlighthealth.com\/blog\/your-expectations-and-how-to-motivate-yourself\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero\/","alt":"Two young cheerleaders at a high school game show their support with pom poms and a microphone.","author":"49","description":"Two young cheerleaders at a high school game show their support with pom poms and a microphone.","caption":"Discovering what pushes your buttons and makes you act can lead to meaningful, lasting change.","name":"how-to-motivate-yourself-hero","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":4602,"date":"2018-01-12 21:51:38","modified":"2018-01-18 16:11:10","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/my.castlighthealth.com\/blog\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":960,"height":400,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":63,"medium":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","medium-width":300,"medium-height":125,"medium_large":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","medium_large-width":640,"medium_large-height":267,"large":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","large-width":640,"large-height":267,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/my.castlighthealth.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","1536x1536-width":960,"1536x1536-height":400,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/my.castlighthealth.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-hero.jpg","2048x2048-width":960,"2048x2048-height":400}},"mobile_content":{"mobile_story_label":"Featured","mobile_post_title":"Why you act, and how to motivate yourself","mobile_carousel_image":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-mobile.jpg","mobile_hero_image":"https:\/\/d3toagd7ypryjs.cloudfront.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/how-to-motivate-yourself-featured.jpg","mobile_content_body":" Why do we do the things we do \u2014 or don\u2019t do? How can we change?<\/p>\n Gretchen Rubin, the bestselling author and speaker who\u2019s trained her curious intellectual eye on studying happiness, habits, and human nature, was trying to figure this out while researching her book<\/a> Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives<\/em>.<\/p>\n It took her awhile before she realized that by asking ourselves one simple question we can gain tremendous insight into why we act and don\u2019t act.<\/p>\n Ready? The question is: How do I respond to expectations?<\/strong><\/p>\n Whether it\u2019s setting a New Year\u2019s resolution, sticking to an exercise routine, taking daily medications, or even meeting a work deadline, just about everyone falls into one of four tendencies: Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel.<\/strong><\/p>\n The four tendencies describe how we respond to both inner expectations (like exercising regularly) and outer expectations (nailing that project deadline). Because they influence many aspects of our behavior, understanding them \u2014 in other words, understanding what pushes our buttons and motivates us to act \u2014 can help us make significant, lasting changes.<\/p>\nSelf-knowledge: The key to lasting change<\/h2>\n
Upholders<\/h3>\n
Questioners<\/h3>\n
Obligers<\/h3>\n
Rebels<\/h3>\n
Knowing why you act can teach you how to motivate yourself<\/h2>\n
The Four Tendencies<\/h2>\n